X’s impatience and anger had been surfacing more and more with each new day. Inside he’d begun to feel an inescapable sense of anxiety and stress. It showed itself in the form of aggression. He’d begun to be aggressive with his co-workers and J.J. The negative hostility he’d created with some of his co-workers made his job unbearable. He’d dreaded going to the office.
On his commute to work, his only thoughts had been how he’d spend that evening, drinking to forget about the upcoming day ahead of him. Things had been on the decline between J.J. and X. He’d wanted her. Then, he didn’t. He’d liked her. Then he didn’t. Like a switch on the wall, his affection for her switched on and off. It’d seemed that X was falling into a profound confusion in his mind. He hadn’t known why. He’d just continued his daily routine. But he’d continued to fall more and more into the storm of his negative thoughts.
X remembered passing in front of the long mirror in the hallway of his apartment building each morning. He’d glanced and said to himself each morning, “You need a change.”
He’d become obsessed with this phrase. He’d said it over and over in his thoughts thousands of times. The phrase became a nail that he’d pounded into his brain with all his strength.
You need a change.
You need a change.
Over and over the echoes of these four words resonated in his head.
No comments:
Post a Comment